Usual cautions re: misrepresentation/ fabrication/misunderstandings/authors amnesia/defamation/caustic remarks and any offence thereby caused.
Introduction: The Peking Court all-you-can-eat buffet
‘restaurant’, Princess Street,
Manchester was the venue for the
third successive year. There had been a significant increase in price from
£9.99 last year to £10.99 this, representing an uplift of some 10%. (At the present time CPI is running at less
than 2%). Nevertheless the buffet still offers excellent value for money
and the staff seem happy to accommodate us.
Weather
conditions were cold and damp but, in contrast to last year, no snow had been
encountered to disrupt travel arrangements.
Attendees:
Roger, Phil D, Dave, Ken, Peter K, Martin, Peter L, and Swinn. No one had
ridden to the meeting due to the cold. Phil D had driven up from Fishguard the
previous day and stayed with his daughter in Widnes
overnight. However, it was questionable whether he was furthest travelled this
year as Dave had made the journey from Plymouth by train (senior railcard) and
stayed with Ken overnight and Peter K had travelled from Brazil (Saga Holidays).
Roger had promised to travel from Silsden by bus using his free pass but he
claimed that, at the last minute, he’d been promised a session at the
Manchester Velodrome and had driven in order to transport his bicycle.
Apologies
from Eldon, Chris B, Steve and Mark There had been no news from Mike M or Terry.
Martin mentioned that Rob had broken his leg in a car-related incident. The
meeting asked that its good wishes be conveyed to him for a speedy recovery.
Minutes of previous meeting: Nobody could remember reading them.
Matters arising: Ken promised to restart work on the
Club Badge if artwork could be re-provided (a
badge to commemorate the trip to France might be more appropriate).
No news on Swinn’s flywheels.
Ailments and medication, annual
update: Roger was
still upbeat, though probably in denial, about his health. There had been no progress
on his knee replacement as it had not affected his cycling. Swinn reported irreparable
tendon damage to his right arm which had occurred when pulling his Commando
onto its stand. Peter L had undergone a shoulder joint replacement and proudly
showed off his scar. No one was particularly impressed and thought it was too
small for the surgery described. Peter’s latest medication included both a
statin and an expensive self-regulating, anti-clotting agent. Martin had
resisted the offer of a statin as he did not want his GP to meet the NHS target
for prescribing them (for which his GP would earn a bonus). Peter K was
non-committal. Ken also taking a statin - but this time in order to help his GP reach the NHS target . They
had come to an arrangement whereby the bonus would be shared. Phil D said he
was in good health but on further interrogation admitted that he had a
multitude of ailments, any of which would entitle him to ill-health retirement through
the Civil Service’s generous arrangements to cover such eventualities. Dave was
also taking anticoagulants but his were the cheap-as-chips variety which
required constant monitoring.
Employment status and benefits,
annual update: Dave
was still working at his windmill firm with Ken as consultant for 2 days a
week. Doubtless he had charged the trip to see Ken as some sort of business
expense. The firm was now under the umbrella of a larger organisation and
whilst this improved the level of funding available it brought with it an
inevitable level of bureaucracy. Phil D working 3 days. However all were
seeking to reduce their hours further. (Dave claimed he didn’t want to stop
working altogether as it kept his brain active). Pete K was evasive as usual,
the remainder being fully retired. Despite applying for several jobs, Roger’s
aspiration to become a dumper truck driver had yet to be realised. Everyone had
their free bus passes. Ken’s entitled him to use the trams and he could now
travel all the way to Bury Market. Dave, Swinn (and Chris B) were still the
only ones receiving their state pensions.
Motorcycles owned and/or in use
(exception report):
Ken no change, Phil D no change and his ‘works’ F800ST BMW had not come up to
expectations as he was too big for it. Pete K non committal, Martin no change
and he was still riding his CB500 albeit less and less due to his habit of
rambling. He had met Swinn during the year at a Velocette owners meet where
onlookers had described his bike as ‘sprayed with rust’. Martin was quick to
correct them as in VMCC parlance its condition should have been described as ‘with
nice patina’. After promising to buy Swinn’s R1100rs Roger had reneged on the deal
following a ribbing by his pals that it was an old mans bike (it was). Still in
denial about his age and fitness Roger had bought the more sporty R1100s which
he thought was one of the best bikes he’d ever owned (see previous minutes for
details of Roger’s other best bikes he’d ever owned). During the year Swinn had
sold a Commando for a good price and his R1100rs for peanuts. He had since
bought a BMW G650gs which was definitely not the best bike he’d ever owned. Although
probably too heavy for him, he had made an offer on another K75s. This had no
mot and 90,000 on the clock but was a late model and a runner and in very good
condition for its age, The best bike he’d ever owned, also a K75S, which Swinn had sold to
Dave some 14! years previously (where did
that time go?) was still owned but had not run for several years and was
‘not quite as clean’ as when sold. However, to ‘keep it in the family’ Swinn
agreed to talk to Dave about its repossession. No change for Peter L but he had
spent the year refurbishing his C15 – the first bike he had ever owned. This
had cost him a small fortune, not least for the new pair of trousers it needed.
Distance travelled by motorcycle
during the year:
Phil D, who rode virtually every day, was easily the winner. Others had
travelled less than 2000 miles. He was therefore awarded the Bike71 Most Miles
2016-2017 cup, tastefully decorated with old engine oil and red hermatite. The
cup incorporated a scratch and sniff hermatite feature but attendees either had
nails too short or heavy colds and were unable to experience it.
AOB: Although originally a substantive
item for discussion, the ‘2017 Bike 71 Rally Raid Francaise’ to meet with Mark
at his ranch near Toulouse was somewhat diluted - there being a dilemma between
the Spring and Autumn dates offered – which prevented any detailed planning.
The general consensus was that September would be preferable (see Mark’s latest response to Roger).
Swinn was
proud to announce he had passed a City and Guilds Tig welding course. He had
come to the conclusion that Tig was too slow for him and his hands too shakey for
it to be worth buying the necessary rig for home use.
Ken had taken
to shopping for sensible jumpers at a well known chain of pensioner’s outdoor clothing
suppliers.
Pete K
offered to provide a contact should anyone need accommodation for the Classic
TT.
Roger had
entered the Tour de Yorkshire cycle race.
Phil D gave
a comprehensive talk about the complexities of the current testing regime for
aspiring young motorcycle riders. This was both fascinating and disturbing. The
prospect of being re-tested to meet current requirements would be daunting for
most of us. He would not be drawn on whether the new rules had resulted in a
drop in motorcycle-related casualties. Phil also reminded the meeting of the
need to self-declare fitness to drive in the year preceding 70th
birthdays. Dave to take on the ‘pathfinder’ role.
Having time
on their hands the previous day, Ken and Dave decided to visit a local BMW
dealer where they drank coffee, kicked tyres and harassed salesmen. After being
asked to leave they had visited one of Ken’s former girlfriends - with whom he
had enjoyed a ménage a trois with another attendee in their student days. It
was clear that she still had fond memories of her old flame(s) but showed little interest in rekindling the
arrangement (viaTinder, of course).
With
advancing years and increasing frailty the conversation inevitably turned to
mortality, the need to get miles in, holidays too. Also to sort out ISAs and
review wills. Peter’s solution for sorting his chattels had been to provide his
children with sticky dots to claim various items for which they had a
particular affection. The remainder would be bundled off to the auctioneers
upon his demise. Regrettably, a sticker had yet to appear on his beloved C15.
Following a thankyou to Roger, for organising the meet up, the meeting
closed around 4.30pm
As with previous years there was
some confusion when the time came to pay the bill. Each attendee was asked to
contribute £13 for the meal which would also provide for a reasonable tip. The
collected sum amounted to £13 less than anticipated whereupon Pete K declared
that he had no intention of paying as he had not eaten anything; the nuts consumed
on his travels had been sufficient to sustain him. He also pointed to the
unused cutlery and napkin as if to reinforce his case. Martin was suspected of
being party to this subterfuge as he had been feeding Peter with spring rolls
from his own plate. Again the sum collected covered the cost of 8 meals but with
a much smaller tip of only £3. However this went someway to redress the balance
between the increased price of the meal and the actual inflationary uplift
which should have been applied.
Picture courtesy of Martin.
4 comments:
You do well to remember what to write about.
I had to read it to remind myself what happened.
Brilliant - as ever. Thanks.
BTW, my Velodrome ride was cancelled, due to oil on the track!!!!!
Pure fantasy except for the menage a trois which I recall was discussed at some length. Hopefully parts will be recognised by those involved.
I should add that there is a grain of truth in every item minuted. Roger should have concentrated on the meeting rather than playing with his phone - and then he might have remembered what was going on. I have added apologies from Steve which were omitted first time round.
First class set of notes - witty, pithy and all grounded on a seed of truth. I look forward to the artwork for both the club badge and that for attendees of the French adventure.
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